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The Four Agreements for Home Sellers: A Mindful Approach to Real Estate

Updated: Jan 19

In the world of real estate, where transactions are often filled with complexities and emotions, maintaining a sense of integrity is crucial. Having personally embraced The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz as a guiding philosophy in my personal life and business, I've found these principles transformative. In this article, I'll explore how home sellers can benefit from applying The Four Agreements when navigating the often stressful selling process.

The Four Agreements

Agreement 1: Be Impeccable with Your Word

A photo of the chapter, be impeccable with your word in the Four Agreements

Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. - Don Miguel Ruiz

Communication is the bedrock of any successful real estate transaction; effective communication is not only about what you say but also how you say it. This principle is particularly pertinent when dealing with your real estate agent, who is a professional and your trusted partner in the home-selling process.

When working with your real estate agent, being impeccable with your word means maintaining open and transparent communication. Clearly express your expectations, concerns, and goals. Provide your agent with all the information about your property, ensuring they have the details needed to market it effectively. Regular and honest communication with your agent fosters a strong partnership, laying the foundation for a successful home sale.

Negotiations are a critical phase in the home-selling process, and being impeccable with your word during this stage is paramount. Consider a scenario where a home inspection reveals the need for a repair. Instead of downplaying or avoiding the issue, being impeccable with your word involves acknowledging the need for the repair during negotiations. Honest and upfront communication sets the stage for a smoother negotiation process, establishing trust between you and the potential buyer.

Example of being impeccable with your word:

Imagine the discovery of a minor repair during the home inspection. Instead of attempting to hide the issue, you, as the seller, inform the buyer and your real estate agent promptly. By being impeccable with your word, you maintain your integrity and contribute to a more collaborative negotiation. This approach can lead to a fair agreement that satisfies both parties and avoids potential conflicts.

Agreement 2: Don't Take Anything Personally

A photo of a page in the Four Agreements, Don't take things personally

Whatever happens around you, don't take it personally... Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. - Don Miguel Ruiz

When selling your home, this agreement arguably takes center stage. Why? Because you're not just selling a property; you're parting with a place that has been a personal haven for you for many years. It's filled with memories, emotions, and a deep sense of attachment. Recognizing this, it becomes paramount not to refrain from taking anything personally throughout the entire home-selling journey.

Receiving offers, feedback from showings, inspection reports, or even appraisals—these are all integral components of the selling process. Not all offers will meet your expectations, and not all feedback will be glowing. There might be instances where a home inspection report points out flaws or an appraisal is lower than anticipated. In these moments, it's crucial to remind yourself not to take these aspects personally.

Why is this so important?

Selling a home involves several factors, many of which are beyond your control. Buyers make decisions based on their needs, preferences, and sometimes budget constraints. A less-than-ideal inspection report doesn't reflect on you; it's an opportunity to address necessary repairs collaboratively. Similarly, a lower-than-expected appraisal doesn't diminish the value you've placed on your home; it's a professional assessment that can be navigated with a cool head.

Example of not taking things personally:

Imagine receiving an offer that falls below your asking price. Instead of interpreting it as a personal affront, view it as a starting point for negotiation. By not taking it personally, you can engage in a constructive dialogue with the buyer, exploring common ground that benefits both parties. This approach helps maintain a positive atmosphere and facilitates a smoother negotiation process.

Agreement 3: Don't Make Assumptions

A photo of a chapter pages, Don't Make Assumptions in the Four Agreements

The problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are the truth. - Don Miguel Ruiz

When selling your home, making assumptions can be slippery, leading to misunderstandings and unnecessary stress. This is where the power of asking questions comes into play. Your real estate agent, ideally your trusted ally throughout this process, should be your go-to source for information and guidance. The key is having an agent you trust and someone you feel comfortable asking questions.

Making assumptions about your real estate agent, the buyer, the market, or the deal itself can introduce unwarranted complexities into an already intricate process. Instead of assuming, take the proactive approach of seeking clarity through open and honest communication. Your real estate agent is there to guide you, but they can only provide the best assistance when you actively engage with them and voice your concerns.

Why is this so important?

The real estate landscape is dynamic, and market conditions can change. What might have been true a month ago may not hold today. By asking questions, you stay informed and avoid potential pitfalls. Assumptions can lead to misunderstandings that might have been quickly clarified through a simple conversation.

Example of not making assumptions:

Suppose you notice a change in the local real estate market trends. Instead of assuming the cause, contact your real estate agent for insights. They can provide valuable information about current market conditions, allowing you to make informed decisions about pricing and marketing strategies.

Agreement 4: Always Do Your Best

A photo of a page for the chapter, Always Do Your Best, in the Four Agreements

When you don’t do your best, you are denying yourself the right to be you. - Don Miguel Ruiz

The commitment to always do your best is the cornerstone of a successful and fulfilling selling experience. This agreement extends far beyond the superficial notion of simply putting effort into the process; it encapsulates a holistic approach to selling your home.

Choosing a Great Agent, Not Just Any Agent:

Always doing your best begins with selecting a great real estate agent. This is a crucial partnership that can significantly impact the success of your home sale. Look for an agent who possesses market expertise and shares your commitment to transparency, communication, and excellence.

Presentation Excellence:

Presenting your home in the best possible light is crucial when selling. This involves meticulous attention to detail, from decluttering and staging to ensuring your property shines during marketing and showings. High-quality images, compelling descriptions, and a well-maintained appearance collectively create a positive first impression.

Transparent Communication:

Always do your best to maintain open and transparent communication. This involves informing all stakeholders, including your real estate agent, potential buyers, and other parties, such as the title company or association, about any developments or changes. Timely and clear communication builds trust and sets a positive tone throughout the selling process.

Negotiation Skills:

Excellence in negotiation is a crucial aspect of always doing your best. This involves understanding your priorities and being flexible when needed. A successful negotiation results in a fair deal that satisfies both you and the buyer, fostering a positive relationship that can lead to a smooth closing.


Realize that the selling process may sometimes unfold differently than planned. Unexpected challenges may arise, and market conditions can change. Always do your best by staying adaptable and proactive in addressing issues as they arise. This flexibility ensures that you can navigate the complexities of the real estate journey with resilience.


Consider a scenario where you receive feedback from a potential buyer that suggests they are interested but have concerns about a specific aspect of your property. Always doing your best involves responding to this feedback with a willingness to address their concerns. You might make minor adjustments or provide additional information to alleviate their worries, demonstrating your commitment to a positive selling experience.


Selling your home is more than a transaction; it's a journey. By embracing The Four Agreements—being impeccable with your word, not taking anything personally, not making assumptions, and always doing your best—you can navigate this journey with integrity and professionalism. These agreements are not just principles to follow but tools for managing the stresses of selling a home and building lasting relationships.

Remember that every interaction is an opportunity to embody these agreements, creating a positive experience for you and potential buyers.


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